6 Weeks Gone, 6 More to Come!!! (And some info on teaching practice)

   Can you believe that I am now half way through teaching practice?

   That's right. The period for my teaching practice is 12 weeks, and yesterday marked the end of the sixth week. 6 down, 6 more to go! Hurray!!!!

   Yesterday, my friends and I went to our IPG for tutorial. The tutorial was organised by the practicum unit, and during the session we were supposed to ask questions, fill in some forms etc. We also met our supervisors. During the session, I was surprised to know that some of my friends have not even had a single observation by their supervisor! I guess the particular lecturers/s are very busy.

   As for my own group of friends who are being supervised by the same lecturer, Madam J., we are nearly at the end of our journey! Most of us have had our 3rd observation, and are waiting for our final one.

   Let me explain give some background info on the teaching practice that I'm going through. I am not sure if the same condition applies for other programmes, but this is basically what goes for ours (B. Ed Tesl - Twinning Programme between IPG KPM and IIUM). We only have 2 stages of practicum as compared to the other programmes which are totally under the IPG (which by the way stands for Insitut Pendidikan Guru).

1. School Based Experience (SBE) or also known as Rancangan Orientasi Sekolah (ROS)-  No teaching or anything, just observations and preparing reports. You can read my half-hearted writing about it in my earlier entries.
2. Teaching Practice (12 weeks) - What I'm going through now. It's the only time that we're given to practice teaching. At one go. The other programmes at IPG have about 3 shots at it I think, throghout their time there. We only get one shot, and have to do it in 12 weeks.

   So that's it. Now for teaching practice, we are observed both by our supervising lecturer and guiding teacher. They're both sort of mentors who will help us during teaching practice. My partner and I share 1 lecturer, together with 6 other people, and we also share the same guiding teacher at SK Pegoh- one for English and another for PS. The observations are as follows:

   Major Subject (English):
   Number of observations by supervising lecturer: 3
   Number of observations by guiding teacher: 4
   Number of observations by both lecturer & teacher: 1 (Final observation, and the one that determines your grade for the whole teaching practice period)

   Minor Subject (Art)

   Number of observations by supervising lecturer: 2

   Number of observations by guiding teacher: 3

   Number of observations by both lecturer & teacher: 1 (Final observation, and the one that determines your grade for the whole teaching practice period)

   So altogether we each individually have to go through 14 observation in 12 weeks. Just imagine!

   Now, in the case of Madam J's mentees, we have it a little more difficult. Our lecturer is pregnant, and she is due in March. It's only a few days before March arrives, right? Tada! I'm having my final observation next week. That's right, it's during our 7th week. Some of our friends who have other lecturers have not even been observed, while most have only been observed for 1 or 2 times. As for my partner and I, our grade will be determined next week. We have to get our portfolio ready, as well as be prepared to teach really well.

  And you know what? After 6 weeks, I sometimes feel like I still don't know what I'm doing. I still need more practice. I still can't control the class. And I have to prepare for my final observation. In fact I have to prepare for two observations next week. My guiding teacher is coming in for the final time on her own, and then it'll be her and Mdm J. together. The Finale.

   I am under great pressure. I have to prepare for these things as well as make preparations for my kids because they are having their first UPP the week after (8-10 March). I'm preparing the exam questions, and their English subject is wholly under my responsibility for 3 months.

   I'm scared. I'm under pressure. Yet here I am typing away on this blog. Duh.

   If I have any readers at all, please, please pray for me. Pray that I'll do well. Thank you.

Teaching is NOT easy!!!!

   Wow, has it been nearly a month since I last wrote? The thing is, I probably have a long queue of drafts waiting to be posted, but I never get the chance to finish any of them which is why you don't see any new posts.

   It's a pity, I guess. I wanted this blog to be a memoir of my journey as a teacher trainee- I wanted to write about the processes that I've gone through (and am still going through), the ups and downs of my LiFe as a TeaCHeR, all the trials, things that make me feel like giving up, things that help to strengthen me and keep me going... everything. I do not know if anyone even reads this blog- every time I visit my own blow, I can see that the total number of page views increases (which I find to be very strange). In fact, it used to be way behind compared to the other blog that I write in, but now the numbers have caught up and this blog has surpassed that of the other one! (Sorry for the confusing way in which I'm writing. I just got back from a difficult class, which I'll write about later).

   My point is, I know I do not have many readers. Perhaps just one or two people who happen to be blog walking come across and my blog and that's what increases the page view number. But in the end, it doesn't matter I guess. What matters is that perhaps one of my stories can help someone see things in a different way. maybe it'll help another teacher trainee who happen to come by and read. Maybe it'll let some people know that teaching is hard. It is difficult, and it is especially so when you are just starting out. And yet teachers don't give up. They'll go on trying, and they won't stop. Otherwise, would you still see schools functioning? Would you be where you are now?

   I have loved most (if not all) my teachers up to now. Alhamdulillah I've always been the sort who is not afraid of my teachers or lecturers. I find it easy to talk to them and be in their good books (most of the time anyway). I usually like my teachers and it's very rare that I dislike one. If I do, then something is probably wrong with me (or the teacher/lecturer? I don't know, haha).

   What I always try to remember until now is Ummi's words. I remember how she told me once to never speak badly of my teachers or lecturers. It was a simple reminder, but it hangs true, and I try my best to hold on to it to this very day. Yes, it's true that sometimes your teachers and lecturers can be very trying. I remember some occasions in which I cried after getting scolded (if you were one of my Cohort 4 TESL friends, you may remember the times during our TESL Camp. Boy did I cry!). Yet after a while, I began to see that whenever something is extra difficult, up to the point where you just cannot hold it in anymore and you cry- those are the moments that help to shape you. If you let them help you, they'll help you.

   After 6 weeks of teaching practice, I sometimes feel that I still do not know what I am doing. Sometimes I feel like I'm groping in the dark, trying to find something to hold on to. I'm not blind, but I can't see. It's even more frustrating than being blind altogether. It is so very frustrating. I've shed tears, and on some days I feel so exhausted that I cannot think. I have little time to think of how I look- hey, a pupil even commented that I have a lot of pimples today! Rude boy. It's a good thing you're not in my class, haha.

   I'm scared. I do not know if I can become a good teacher. I don't know if I can become any sort of teacher. The knowledge that I have to be one no matter what happens (considering the fact that I'm tied to the government after graduating, due to my scholarship)- that and the fact that I still don't know how to really teach scares me. Yet I still want to do it.

  And I am about to say something that you probably will think is rather superficial. Not true. A lie. The thing is, I used to hope that I could get Cemerlang for my teaching practice. However, as soon as I started at SKP, those hopes started to fade away. Right now, I don't- no, I CAN't care about getting Cemerlang. I'm used to getting good grades and having a comfortable position when it comes to marks. So I did hope to get good results for teaching practice.

   But now? What matters to me is that I want to be able to teach my pupils. I want to help them learn. For example, today's class was a disaster. I felt useless, and I wished my guiding teacher (who was supervising my class today) had given me the lowest marks for everything. But she didn't, even after I requested. Yes, I requested. What do you think of that?

   The thing is, in the end your marks do matter. However, I don't want to teach well just for the sake of getting good marks. I want to do it just for the sake of Allah. I want to know that my pupils are learning something. Marks matter, but I don't want to teach well just during the classes I'm being observed. I want to teach well all the time.

   I guess I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I know I should take things slowly. I won't stop trying. Even if kills me (I hope it doesn't!).

A Small Taste of SK Pegoh

   Let me talk  a little bit about SK Pegoh. The place where I am currently doing my teaching practice.

   It's a small school. By small, I mean with a population of 73 pupils. The biggest number of pupils in a class is 18 in Standard 6, and 7- yes, 7 in Standard 2. There were 12 teachers, but with our arrival and that of another new teacher, the teaching staff currently consists of 15 people. 6 male teachers and 9 ladies.

   I thought the school I went to for SBE was small, with 308 pupils, but this school beats all the small schools I know. The Head told us that it's under-enrolled, but I'm not sure for what reason. Maybe because there are so many schools in Alor Gajah? I don't know.

   The school is quite beautiful, in my view. It's very clean, and I especially love looking at the surroundings just after the rain has stopped. Everything looks so fresh and clean. It's small, with two double-storey buildings- 1 for classes (Standard 1 to Standard 5) and the other for the office, library, Standard 6 class, and Science lab. There's a small building that house the computer lab, and the canteen. And that's it. Yeah.

   I teach two classes. 2 Bijak and 3 Cerdik. I teach two subjects. Art and English.

   I teach Art to 2 Bijak. there are seven of them. Three girls and four boys. Once, one of them was absent, so only six were left. Six pupils. I felt like I was doing home tuition, haha. They are such cuties, though. Judging from my friends' stories about them, I think Standard 2 pupils a.k.a. 8-year-olds are all generally cutie pies who are in the stage where everything their teacher does is incredible and amazing. They admire you so much that you can help feeling flattered and like going to their class. I guess the small number of these bunch in my class helps too. It's easy to focus your attention on each and every one of them, and it's also so easy to get them to do their work. Let's just say it, I love them.

   I teach both English and Art to 3 Cerdik. Now these people are a different story. There are 11 of them, but by the time I leave their class each day, it feels like I've been trampled by 100 kids. Well, no, perhaps that's not true, but they do take a lot of energy to handle. I know I shouldn't be saying this, when some of my friends have to handle up to 40 pupils in one class, but I guess each to their own, huh? They fight a lot, and just cannot stop saying bad words to each other (which really gets on my nerves for some reason).

   But there are some really clever ones, and the others are okay. Just one or two who need pushing, and there's one particularly lazy boy who I would love to (but will never do of course), using my supervisor's words, kick his ass! Yes, my lecturer said that, hehe. But she also said that I have to find a way to make him buck up a bit. As Mdm J. said, if no one does anything to help him, he'll be the one who'll cry and the end, wondering why nobody ever forced him to learn and let him end up as a no-good-for-nothing.

   The good thing about small schools is that you find it easy to remember the names of most of the children. i probably remember half their names by now, and it's also less embarrassing when you can remember the names of the teachers at one go!

   So that's SK Pegoh. No pictures yet, I'm afraid, since I don't have a USB cable, but wait for it. Soon. Soon.

   p.s. Alor Gajah was flooded to day. It rained non-stop for two days, and we couldn't get to school.

My First Observed Teaching

   The day finally came... and with it, my supervising lecturer. What a nerve-wrecking week I had! First of all, I have spent sleepless nights all day this week- except for last night. Last night, I totally blacked out to the whole world. Is this what teaching practice is like? When I went for SBE, I always had enough rest and even had time to Facebook every night. Now, I only have time to sneak a peek or two at FB and then log off.

   Anyhow, let's talk about my what I intended to in the first place. Last week, when my supervising lecturer came, she told my partner and I that since we had both had classes that don't clash on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she would probably come on either day. So this week, we prepared for Tuesday. Truth be told, I was NOT ready when Tuesday came. I didn't sleep preparing, and yet I felt that I was at all prepared to be observed.

   Then, on Wednesday, I got an sms from Mdm J. She asked if we could arrange to have classes on Friday. I felt quite relieved, but the tension was still there. Once again, I spent another sleepless night on Thursday. I worked hard, but I was concentrating so much on my lesson plan that I totally forgot about my portfolio. Ah yes. I'd rather not talk about that. I feel so very guilty, even now.

   My advise is... do not leave your lesson planning until the last minute. You may get very brilliant ideas when that jolt of adrenaline is rushing through your system, but you won't have time to go through your lesson a few times to make sure you remember everything. You really NEED to know and remember each and every detail of your plan so that if something goes wrong, you'll know what to do.

   Since Mdm J is pregnant and our class is at the top of a mountain, we asked to use the science lab for our observed teaching. I went first, and had my class from 8.45 a.m. to 9.45 a.m., followed by partner.

   At first, I thought I'd teach grammar, since Mdm J taught us grammar and all, but I changed my plan at the last minute and decided to teach them writing. Well, not that much of writing actually ,just writing words and copying down sentences. I shall upload the lesson plan if anyone is interested, but remember I am still learning and there may be mistakes. Comments are very much welcomed.

   The topic I choose was Objects in the Kitchen. I had already taught them Objects in the Bedroom, and found that the children loved worksheets and loved finishing one off just so they could do another one. Well, perhaps not all of them do, but two or three are like that. (Did I tell you I just have 11 children in my class. Yes.)

   To cut things short, when I finished my class, I thought that it was a total disaster. I forgot all about my third step (The Snail Game) until the last minute, and we didn't have time to play it. I was too busy marking the children's worksheets and forgot to look at the time. The children were quite well-behaved for once, but Amirul is SOOOO lazy. I had to literally pull him out of his chair to make him walk around the class to do his work. The others were quite noisy, but personally I don't mind if they are as long as they do it while working.

   Mdm J. said I should try to insert more fun in my class. although I thought my classroom management was awful, she said that my instruction were very clear and easy to understand. I won't tell you what else she wrote in my PR form, but I didn't feel like I deserve them... I thought I was worse!

   The moral of the story is... plan your lessons ahead of time. In fact, plan several lessons ahead of time so that you only need to go over them and make repairs here and there a or two before class. When do you do it? Do it during the weekend. That's what I'm going to do. So tata for now. I'll share more stories next time (I have load of those, wait for them!)

6 rules in Miss Sue's class

   [I have a lot to write about my first at SK Pegoh, but I don't have time yet, so I hope this will do for now. Thanks for reading! Comments are very much welcomed.]

   I said once that I would rather have my pupils call me 'Teacher Sue' rather than 'Miss Sue'. It may be grammatically wrong, but it sounds so much warmer. In fact, I only introduced myself as Miss Sue once in my Year 3 English class. However, I suppose one must try, so I think I'll try it for my next class.

   I got this idea after doing some surfing on the internet and watching some videos on Youtube. I decided that I'd try it in my next class. It won't be easy, and it might not work, but there's always a first time for everything, huh?

   I decided that each time before my class, I'd ask the children to chant a list of rules in my class. The purpose? Well, first of all is of course to set some sort of discipline in class. At first, they may not understand what the rules mean, but perhaps they will. I hope to let them achieve that before I leave SKP in April. Next, it may help to set the mood for my English class. By doing this, they will know that it is time for Miss Sue's English class (forgive me but 'Miss Sue' really does sound a little squeasy to me....I actually squirm every time I type it).

   As for the other benefits... I'll list them down when I found what they are. For now, I'm just going to try doing it first.

   And so... these are the rules for Miss Sue's class. I wanted to limit it to 5, but I can't think of which one I should delete. I wish I had enough readers who can help comment and give their opinions, but I don't. Oh, well.

6 Rules in Miss Sue's English class

1.   I must listen when teacher is speaking.

2.   I must raise my hand when I want to speak.

3.   I must follow teacher’s instructions the best way I can.

4.   I must be nice to teacher and my friends.

5.    I must try to use English as much as I can.

6.   I must work and study hard.

   There you are. I'll try this out and update you on the progress and whether it works. Insya-Allah I shall also upload some lesson plans soon. They're not that good, but they may help you in getting some ideas in teaching English, especially for those who need to follow the KBSR syllabus.

   Wish me luck! May Allah bless all teachers who strive and work hard to make teaching fun and meaningful for their children!